The Liars

An old letter to a friend, still timely.

Nov. 2, 2004

It’s two days before the election and I cannot wait for it to be over. The problem, of course, is that it may not be over until early spring. The early voting has started and so have the abuses. CNN reports that Democratic polling place volunteers are helping confused voters to select Kerry, regardless of whom they really want to choose. The newspaper reports that Republican precinct captains are challenging great blocs of newly registered voters, guaranteeing that thousands of Democrats will be disenfranchised. This proves something I have believed for years: the most significant difference between Democratic politicians and Republican politicians is that this generation of Republicans has smarter thieves. Today’s Democrats are too inept even to steal intelligently.

The wholesale lying in this campaign had been annoying for months, until it soared past scandalous and reached blissful heights of hilarity. Democrats have spent four years calling Bush stupid, despite the inconvenient fact that he graduated from both Harvard and Yale, and brilliantly outfought the intellectually “superior” Al Gore. Republicans have spent months and tens of millions of dollars calling Kerry a coward and making fun of his war injuries despite the inconvenient fact that he was a war hero who bravely saved several men’s lives while under enemy fire. While George Bush was hiding

How did we reach a point where we will be forced to choose between such second-rate candidates? Kerry was a mediocre senator with nothing impressive to show for a 20-year run except some nicely tailored french suits. Bush was a bad governor in an imitation cowboy suit who became the most unsuccessful American president since Jefferson Davis. And if we don’t want to vote for either of them, we can always select Ralph Nader, a well-spoken lunatic in a Goodwill suit, who apparently lives in an abandoned van under a bridge.

And Nader, God help us, is the only honest guy in the race.

Lying seems to have become endemic in our society. Not the social white lies that we all tell occasionally, but gross distortions of truth that can gravely wound others. Bill Clinton looked into the camera and lied about sex and Democrats forgave him (I still forgive him. Can’t lie.) The Swift Boat Veterans looked in the camera and lied about John Kerry, and Republicans applauded them. And who are our most popular political commentators? Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O’Reilly. A drug addict, a bully, and a pervert. Three chicken hawks who laugh off-camera about the lies they tell on-camera. And their conservative fans forgive them, just as Democrats forgave Clinton. Has the entire nation joined Joe McCarthy in having no sense of decency?

As you can guess, I’m a Kerry supporter. I held my nose when I voted last week (absentee) but I’ll take a solid mediocrity over a colossal failure any day. This year I voted straight Democratic for national offices and straight Republican for state offices, and for the same reason: California Democrats have governed as ineffectively and as dishonestly as have national Republicans.

I’ll guess that you are supporting Bush. Some of my best friends do. But please make me a promise: when you vote for Bush, please hold your nose. I promise you will feel better.

J